Much Needed Respite
by LunaSidhe
Summary: The Crystal Exarch and his Warrior find a quiet moment together and things once concealed become revealed. (Based on the 5.0 cutscene, A Breath of Respite.)


This is a one-off story inspired by the events of the A Breath of Respite cutscene (during a level 78 5.0 quest so beware possible spoilers), featuring the Crystal Exarch and my WoL/WoD, Luna: a small Miqo'te lady with a big mout_— _err, heart.

I tried to keep the Warrior fairly gender- and race-neutral (and nameless) in the text, so I'm hoping it will be an easy read to sink into for FFXIV fans. Content is basically angsty romance drama, with a tiny bit of humor and suggested sexuality thrown in. I suck at writing smut, so you'll have to fill in some blanks with your own imagination. ;D

* * *

I was starting to get worried.

I'd been wandering the hills around Amity for the greater part of a bell so far and had yet to find the barest trace of the Crystal Exarch. I'd always considered my tracking skills to be decent, but the rocky terrain here was starting to make me doubt my abilities. _Where in the seven hells was that man?_ I hoped he hadn't slipped down a ravine or anything. As much as he'd tried to hide it from everyone, I could tell he'd been leaning more heavily on his staff lately.

Shading my eyes from the sun, I scanned the hillside to my south. Nothing.

_No, wait. Was there a small trail near the crest of that ridge?_

I was too far away to tell for sure. Either way, I needed a better vantage point. I took a sip from my canteen and kicked myself mentally for not leaving my heavy cloak back at the village. I really hadn't expected to be out this long. Wiping sweat off my brow with the back of my forearm, I started making my way up the slope. The unstable scree shifted unpredictably under my feet, forcing me to pick a slow, careful path across the field. The strident cries of sea gulls grew louder as I climbed upward.

When I reached the top, I nearly tripped over my quarry.

The Exarch was sitting on the bare ground with his back against a boulder, legs splayed. His head lolled to one side. Below the deep hood that hid most of his face in shadow, I could see his chin resting on his chest. He did not appear to be breathing.

Fearing the worst, I rushed to his side and crouched down next to his outstretched legs. I was about to reach out and check for a pulse when I noticed a reassuring sign of life. His lips were moving. A faint mumble reached my ear.

"The future is where my destiny awaits..."

_?!_

Relief and confusion fought for dominance while my mind struggled to make sense of what I'd just heard. I rocked backward on my heels and tried to gather my racing thoughts.

_Thank the Twelve he'd only been sleeping! I mean, sure, let's take a nap in a strange place filled with wild animals and dysfunctional automata. Sounds like a great idea! But hold on a second. What did he just say?_

_No._

_No way._

_That would mean…_

_But then why would he—_

Before I could finish the bewildered thought, the Exarch roused with a startled gasp. He seemed to face me briefly before looking away, shaking his head as if to clear it.

"Forgive me, I was... lost in a dream. I… needed some fresh air and thought to rest for a moment. It would seem I am more fatigued than I realized. Too much time away from the tower, I fear. It drains me, leaves my body frail and weak. Though in truth it is debatable whether I can still call this my body."

Raising his right arm, he brought his crystalline hand into view. He rotated it at the wrist, curling and extending his fingers. Sunlight caught on the cerulean facets, sparkling prettily. In contrast to the unusual color and texture, the movement looked perfectly natural.

As I watched, mesmerized, my mind wandered. I started to doubt what I thought I'd heard earlier. _What I really need is some proper rest, not an exhausting foot tour of the Kholusian mountains. No wonder I'm hearing things._ I made a mental note to try to remember to requisition an Amaro later.

When the Exarch continued, his voice had grown softer. The sound brought me out of my reverie.

"When first I turned my mind towards the salvation of the world, I came to the conclusion that it would take many long years— many more than remained to me. And so I made myself one with the Crystal Tower, that I might live indefinitely. I am but an extension of it now. Hence my weakness the farther I travel and the longer I am away."

He returned his hand to the ground and leaned his weight onto his arm. When he turned to face me again, I thought I could detect a slight smile on his lips.

"It has been quite a journey! But thanks to you, the end is in sight. My wish will finally be fulfilled."

Thinking about how long the Exarch had been working toward this goal and everything he'd done to help us all get here, I felt humbled. I was embarrassed I'd gotten irritated about anything as trivial as a bit of a hike. If _anyone_ needed proper rest, it was this man.

He must have sensed my discomfort, because he abruptly changed the topic.

"How goes the construction effort?"

The inquiry was made with a cheerfulness that sounded forced but I pretended not to notice. Standing up to stretch my legs, I filled him in on our progress. When I finished delivering the update, he gestured to a relatively flat patch of hard-packed dirt at his side.

"Then this may be the last moment we have to ourselves for a while. Come, sit with me."

The opportunity to rest was much appreciated. Gratefully joining him in the shade, I slid my cloak from my shoulders, laid it on the ground, and settled down onto it. As I folded my legs to one side, I thought about how long it had been since I'd had a casual conversation with anyone. A discussion about something other than battle preparations would be a welcome diversion.

The Exarch and I had been chatting pleasantly for a while when I asked him what he planned to do after the war. His smile vanished instantly.

_Ah, crap. The Warrior of Awkwardness strikes again. I really do hope Ardbert isn't watching._

When he answered, his tone was grave.

"I once told you that there are things we can ill afford to lose. Things, I said, though in truth I spoke of a person. One who is unaware of the full extent of my plans. Though she deserves to know, I have good reason to keep my council."

I nodded in agreement. Although I had no children of my own, I could understand the desire to protect them from harm— even a ward as formidable as Lyna.

Withholding important tactical information from the Captain of your Guard seemed like a terrible idea though, and not the sort of mistake someone as experienced as the Exarch would make. Maybe he was referring to some other woman. I had to admit that piqued my curiosity. Squinting, I tried to peer into the darkness below his hood. Not being able to see his eyes made it difficult to gauge his expression. As if he knew what I was up to, he angled his face toward the ground and the shadow grew longer, obscuring even more from view.

"I have come to terms with this in my mind, yet my heart yearns to lay everything bare. For she is my inspiration, and I would give much and more for the chance to speak with her as friends, with no thought of concealment. Should she indulge me with her tales, I would regale her with my own. About my efforts in Norvrandt, perhaps... ?" His voice trailed off on a wistful note.

_Definitely not Lyna then. No one could raise a kid to adulthood without being exposed at some point in the process. Besides, she grew up on his stories. Here, with him._

_Hmm, maybe one of the other women at the Crystarium then, or someone somewhere else in Lakeland? Considering how quickly gossip spreads in this place, I'm sure I would have heard some kind of salacious rumor by now. But who would that leave? The Scions? He doesn't act differently around any—oh._

_Godsdamnit, brain. Stop. I'm not going to fall into that trap again. Quit looking for things that don't exist._

When I belatedly realized the Exarch was looking at me, I felt the blood rush to my face. My ears started to burn. I could only imagine what I must have looked like, obliviously daydreaming about his personal life.

"Though ultimately, that tale is more yours than it is mine," he said with a small laugh.

I was too busy grappling with my embarrassment to argue with him. _See? It has to be someone else. Otherwise, he wouldn't be telling me this._ I felt relieved when he looked away, tilting his head backward to look up at the cloudless sky. I closed my eyes and practiced a meditative breathing exercise while he finished musing.

"Then, I would ask her about her next adventure, and if she would wish me to be part of it... oh, how happy it would make me. Together we would travel the lands and cross the seas, and take to the skies upon the eternal wind. My heart swells simply to imagine it."

The raw emotion in his voice made me open my eyes. I'd never heard him speak like this. Whoever this woman was, he clearly had very strong feelings for her. The fact that he felt comfortable enough around me to be so vulnerable was a great honor, and not one I wanted to take for granted.

To reciprocate, I decided to share a deeply personal story about someone close to my own heart. I straightened my legs, leaned back against the outcropping, and focused my eyes on the horizon.

"Your friend reminds me of someone from my past," I said. "A man who spent a great deal of time studying the Crystal Tower, in fact. I believe I asked you about him once." At the edge of my peripheral vision, I saw the Exarch turn toward me.

I began with how the man and I had met and joked about how much I'd wanted to strangle the cocky bastard at first. I explained how our friendship grew and mentioned some of the many expeditions we'd gone on together, highlighting the most harrowing challenges. I talked about how his courage, curiosity, and kind-heartedness continue to inspire me to try to be a better person. As the words poured out, I realized I had never really spoken of all of this to anyone. It was unexpectedly cathartic.

The Exarch remained silent the entire time. _He's such a great listener._

I shot him a bittersweet smile. "It should come as no surprise then that I completely fell in love with the guy."

He started visibly. "You... fell in love with him?"

_Wait, did he pass out again? He really must be tired. And here I am, rambling on. Wrap it up, woman!_

"I meant to confess this to him, but then he... well, he left before I had the chance." My voice cracked halfway through the statement. _Gods, why was this still so painful?_

I looked out over the sea again, concentrating on the soothing motion of the waves. After a deep breath, I barreled on. "I know _why_ he left, and it was the right decision to make at the time, or at least _a_ right decision... but not a day goes by that I don't wonder if there might not have been... I don't know. Some other solution that would have at least kept him in my life."

_There._ I'd finished my story. _Oversharing be damned._

I stole a sideways glance at the Exarch and was alarmed to find a solitary tear winding its way down his cheek. Something about this entire exchange started to feel very strange. On an inexplicable whim, I kept my eyes where they were and quietly added, "...even if he didn't share my feelings."

As I watched his reaction, a vague suspicion began to take shape. His jaw clenched and his fingers dug into the ground. His head dropped back as he took a long, shuddering inhale. When he spoke, his voice sounded strained.

"I am positive he shared your feelings. It... it probably pained him greatly to have to leave your side."

_What is going on here? Did he… lie to me? Or am I just insane? Well, I guess there's only one way to find out._

With my eyes locked on his upturned face, I shifted to sit closer. His shoulders tensed, but he made no effort to move away. Before I could lose my nerve, I fought past the sudden lump in my throat and whispered the name of my beloved.

"G'Raha Tia."

For a terrifyingly long moment, nothing happened.

I started to second guess myself.

Then the Exarch leaned forward and buried his face in both hands. A single ragged sob shook his entire body, completely shattering any composure I had left. As tears ran unheeded down my face, I gently freed the hand of his closest to me and cradled it against my cheek. We sat together in that position for what felt like an eternity. Eventually, he let his other arm fall and dropped his face toward me.

"How?" he asked. "How did you know?"

I wasn't entirely sure how to answer that. Without providing too much context, I tried to explain exactly what it was about the Crystal Exarch that made him the focal point of some very interesting dreams over the last few moons.

"I know you've been here for over a century, but for me... it's only been a few years since I lost you to the tower. And some days, it feels a lot more recent than that." As if on cue, my mind replayed the sight of G'Raha waving goodbye while the heavy tower doors slammed shut between us. I pushed the painful memory aside. Blinking away fresh tears in frustration, I refocused my eyes and attempted to clarify what that meant.

"I still remember the sound of your voice, the way you speak, the shape of your mouth..." My gaze settled on the feature in question. "None of which are things you can hide with a cowl, you know."

Without thinking, I extended my free hand and gingerly traced his full bottom lip with the tip of my index finger. It felt just like I imagined it would. Suddenly self-conscious, I lowered my arm and gently released the hand I'd been holding against the side of my face. To my relief, he seemed reluctant to let go. As his hand withdrew, a light caress traveled over my cheekbone and down the length of my jaw.

"That does seem rather obvious in hindsight, yes, " he admitted. "In light of this, ah, revelation... I dare say I no longer have a need for _this_."

My pulse raced as he brought his hands to his temples. Slowly and deliberately, he pushed the hood back, taking care to ease the thick fabric over flattened ears. Once freed from confinement, they swiveled only partially forward, betraying his distress. His eyes were closed, long lashes brushing against the tops of his cheeks. Stray locks of silver hair stirred in the gentle ocean breeze. Thick tendrils of blue crept up his neck from below his collar. When his eyes finally opened, they were the same bright crimson I remembered. The sight made my heart sing.

We stared at each other for a few long moments.

"I'm sorry."

Somehow, I knew he was apologizing for more than just the past.

"It's okay."

"But... you don't understand... I can't..." he stuttered.

_You think I don't, but I bet I do._

"Let me guess. You've decided to sacrifice yourself for the good of the world. Again. And you don't want anyone to know about your secret plans because you don't want us to interfere."

His eyes widened in surprise.

"It's kind of what you _do_, Raha." I smiled sadly at the incredulous look on his face. "Don't worry, I won't say anything to the others. But... whatever it is you're up to... are you sure… ?"

His eyes answered me before his mouth could.

My stomach dropped in response. _Well, at least I have some prior notice this time._ The idea of waiting for him to tell me what I already knew, and didn't want to hear, was more than I could bear, so I pressed on before he could say anything. "In that case, if this is our last chance to be alone for a while, I intend to make the most of it."

I leaned forward to kiss him. When our faces were mere ilms apart, I hesitated, suddenly unsure. I was about to pull back when I felt a trembling hand cup the side of my face, gently guiding me closer. My breath caught in my throat. Then our lips met and everything else ceased to exist.

—

Later, as I re-buckled my armor, I watched with an inordinate amount of interest as G'Raha pulled his robe back on. My gaze lingered, trying to commit the scene to memory. _By the Twelve, that man is beautiful._ When he finally drew the hood back into its customary place, I felt a sharp pang of loss. I had no idea when, or even if, we'd have this kind of privacy again.

_Well, no matter what happens now, at least he'll no longer have to wonder if his body is his anymore._ I grinned broadly as I recalled with vivid clarity some of the lovely noises he'd made. _Yes, I do believe all doubt has been removed as far as that is concerned._ Not even the prospect of an uninvited audience could wipe the smile from my face.

I could only hope that if Ardbert had witnessed everything, he'd have the decency to pretend like he hadn't. _The last thing I need right now is him skulking around, making faces… especially after that whole thing with the sandwiches. I'll never hear the end of it._

After we finished getting dressed, the Exarch beckoned for me to follow him. The path he'd taken to get here was a short distance away. No wider than a game trail, it traced an inconveniently circuitous route down into the valley. The grade looked a lot less steep than what I'd had to scramble up, however. Considering the day's exertions, it would be a much safer way back for both of us.

Trying to be more mindful of his tower-related weariness, I walked behind the Exarch on the trail, letting him set the pace. To my surprise, he took the descent at a much faster clip than I'd anticipated. We made it back to Amity in an unexpectedly short amount of time.

We stopped when we reached the perimeter of its fence. Standing side by side, we looked past the gates and into the central square. It was filled with the bustle of volunteers carrying out vital tasks. Watching them, I was reminded of how much work was yet to be done. I think the Exarch must have had a similar thought.

"Well, shall we?" he asked, offering me his hand. I took it and interlaced my fingers with his.

Hand in hand, we walked into Amity together.


End file.
